A letter

Dear Renee Ho,

Firstly I know you wouldn't see this blog since I tell you that I have no Blogs. Deep in mind, I am really curious of how you feel now.

Please understand why I get so pissed off on you that day. I told you in MSN on Wednesday that I needed your Student ID and your signature in authorization letter for picking up your offer letter of UNI. Then on Thursday you sms me to wake me up and I told you that I had already gone up. I waited you for whole day even when I m having a class. Yea, you called me on 5pm and I was having lectures. You then told me that you are coming to City tomorrow and you had asked any documents needed for enrollment, I then told you that I will show it all to you on Friday.

Well, by Friday, I have no classes but I woke up early to do revision as well as to settle these stuffs with you since you are going back to HK soon. I phoned you at 3pm and you said that you are now in Burwood and coming to city right now. Yet you arrived at 6pm and I left already because I have to prepare to go to work. I phoned you back to ask whether you will be free tomorrow or something, but just because of one word, I really get very furious and I can't even control myself.

"har, What for? Sorry I am talking to Mavis now and I will call you back later." I got so furious on you that time and I released my anger to you by that sms. I know my word was very harsh and I admit that the way I managed it was very bad. I should have realised that Mavis was passing something important to you. I get very nervous of the offer letter thing is because I have the responsibility to treat this stuff as my own since you assigned me to pick it up on behalf of you, cause if something really happen, Who should take the responsibility, of cause ME..

I should have know that your heart is totally not in Sydney but in HK already. I know you are now having holiday and you wanna relax without worrying school stuffs on this stage. But please understand my situation, I have so many stuffs to deal and so many phone calls of seeking help from me, I just can't get a good sleep for almost a month. and also, I care of you, so that is why I will get nervous on it, if it is for somebody else, I just don't give a damn to them.

I am not defending for myself, I just wanted to make everything clear. I know I was really harsh by saying that I am really tired of you and you did not respond to any apologize that I had made. I know what type of personality you are yet please understand that I always explode in the wrongest time. I don't know what would happen later but I treat you as one of my best friend in Sydney so that is why I really care of this incident and I hope you would be the same.

Yours Sincerely,

BeAr bEaR

Anonymous

當我還在　花園散步
當我還在　浴室洗澡
十步以內　可擁抱
＊遇著什麼　煩惱　
想跟我說　都可聽到　
翻到有趣　圖畫　
何妨大笑　讓妙事亦被我看到
＃遊玩時　開心一點　不必掛念我　
來好好給我活著　就似最初　
仍然在呼吸都應該　要慶賀　
如果想哭　可試試對嘉賓滿座......　
說個笑話　紀念我

到處還是　香水氣味
到處還是　塗鴉筆記
就像我未　拋低你repeat＊＃＃

Adapted from a movie long time ago called 常在我心...A very meaningful movie starred Eason Chan and Charlene Choi....it is same type as 星願 starred Mrs. Nicholas Tse + Richie Ren...
Maybe I m born to be like that...like I always think about of death....The song is for those who had lost the person that they cherish...Nothing is sadder than losing their precious, especially families...but thinking on other side, what would the people in the heaven would think when they die??Where would they go after life???But one thing I m very sure is...some of the people will regret for leaving something undone before life...some might have satisfied because they have no more regrets because there has something that is precious enough to abandon everything...

Life is very short man.....nearly 20 years i had walked...nobody except GOD knows how long ur life expectancy is...

I had once told myself...never record "regret" in my dictionary...but I just realised....everything in our life are between lines and we are just living in it....yet if u fell down into one side, you will eventually stand between lines again because somebody or something will pull u up...

I know I missed a lot of moments, yet my biggest mistake is keep on repeating these mistakes...

Sorry to everybody, for not being perfect, even though it is unachievable.

完美主義,也不過是對一些事的堅持而已......
做人其中一件最難的事只是應該把尺子和天平放在哪裡衡量,而另一件就是何時何地都珍惜一切...

Please pray for those who have forced to left something undone before their life.....Please be strong for the sake of those who u cherish and also for those who cherishes u....

I dunno what I m talking...mood was disrupted again by external and internal factors= =

Song Sharing

My Love My Fate @ Cantonese Version By Janice 衛蘭

my love my fate you will fade away
以後隔天與地I love I hate
i'll miss you always 我永遠亦愛你

太美好的東西 會走
還未愛夠了你 怎放手
從來不肯假想失去你那感受
我這對腳 怎麼走
從來並未練習過溫柔 遲學你或已經沒法接受
然後你會說我跟她分左與右 誰希罕這種手拖手

my love my fate you will fade away
再沒有戀愛味 I love I hate
i'll always be afraid 永遠也害怕你
我要首先講聲 我走
還是愛到你說 請你走
如果講一聲 請照顧 我感受
我最怕你講出口
從來並未練習過溫柔 遲學你或已經沒法接受
然後你會說我跟她分左與右 誰希罕這種手拖手

下次開心已要靠自己 下次頂多飾演好知己
其實再次見你 真需要 靠演技 也要你我好心地
my love my fate you will fade away 過去當做看戲 世界當沒有你Ooh ……..

The reason of sharing this song...particularly because of all elements....the song is composed and mixed in a sorrowful way, but the lyrics has slightly different feeling....it is like....the person had gone out from the cage that he had locked himself in....

btw....this song also has korean version and mandarin version...i bet some of u had listen it before...

To Somebody

I dun rly know if I m just emotional....but I have a strong feeling that we two should be together. Last year in July...u told me that u wished that we two can be in same tutorials so that we can work together on assignments..I din rly care of it cos i was soaking the fragrance of Hea Yun...till August....u invited me to Enita's bbq...i did considered to go...but i turned that down...bcos i feel i m uncomfortable with 8 indonesians but only me from HK....but i felt that u were lil bit disappointed...cos i turned it down in last minute..

Till December, U invited me into Xmas Carol...that time i grew feelings onto u....cos when the time i wanna reject ur invitation...u rly look disappointed...and when I go...I suddenly guessed that mayb u have feelings thru me....but i was sure that time I m emotional...so i hesitates of taking any actions....the lost and found incident was rly precious to me

Seriously...i really enjoy discussing the world's view wif u....n i rly tried to cope with ur interests...I really felt i m evil cos I was trying to bring all the topics that u like and enjoy sharing...yet we two seemed to always talking the same topic....

I was really grateful that u occasionally bring me to ur church's activities....and get to know ur life....thus u made me feel i m small....

But after all, u r 忽冷忽熱....so....I dun dare to confess....cos i wanted fully sure....n i dun wanted to get hurt anymore....n I have a strong feeling that we 2 will be together.....but it depends on myself...if i dun take action...i will never ever have u

That person is You->Apriani Yap

Long Time no See

just had a rollercoasting day.....

received two assessment grades.....i received my assignment feedback on Quantitative Business Analysis Part 1 (AKA Add maths) and i received full marks on it...but at the same time...as i check my email....i also get my grade on another subject (Personal Financial Planning) and i failed...just missing 3 marks....damn....it has been a long time i haven't seen red marks.....recalling back in Han Chiang....the marks are all bloody red....u know...if a person who had been thrist of blood...he should be happy...yet i m not...how the f**k will i be happy for paying more than 2000 bucks for retaking a subject...of cos i m down....well...it is only mid term exam...i dun have to be down....i had been always consoling ppl who failed " if you less 3 marks to pass the mid term, then just get more 3 marks in the final to pass the bloody subject." well...think about it....given the stress that i m carrying....n always pulling ppl back to safety area...sometimes i also need to f**k everything out...

So i used all the solutions that i can use...

a.) throw money

- thankx to Renee for accompanying me to throw the money at jap restaurant.....she ate beef don, whileas i ate miso ramen + gyouzu and we share takoyakis together...the bill replied me " 30dollars (for ringit, *3.5) please thank you"

b.) improving economy of Oz

- after get home...i ate

1.) one char koay teow bought by Julie (Bowie's flatmate),

2.) 6 slices of bread + butter,

3.) 1 pack of nissin noodles + prawns shared by my flatmate,

4.) 3 bowls of rice + 1 can of sardine fish + leftover food of my flatmate.

so i improved Oz's economy by the need of purchasing food (since i ate 30% of my storage) to increase the country's consumption and its GDP, yet suffers again by the bloody inflation..argh

c.) watch TV

- freaking chinese tv channel (my midnite entertainment) now showing korean drama "My Girl"....whatever.....since i left HK, i really miss the moments of chasing TV series for 1/4 day in 24/7 basis..but it is all right..yea i know the routine has changed..cos it starts at midnite= =

o btw....look whatz this

i know the pic is not clear enough...but look closely...it is WINDOWS 98...the OS i havent use since i left HK.....in fact it is actually faster than XP...believe me or not?

p.s. : i sorta regret using too much money...cos the fail rate on that subject is actually 49%= =

A surprise

Yuhuu....Ani gave me 2 surprise....
1.) She dun have bf yet...i rly thought she has one already
2.) She told me that she is gonna celebrate her fd's bday...yet her fds and she visited my workplace.....yuhuu^____________^

thankx for visiting me....i know ur fd's bf (ur fd is also my fd anyways) is also working near my workplace....but i can see that u were excited of seeing me ^^

damn...i m over the moon already......even though it was one of the busiest shift that i have ever had...working alone in damn Saturday nite (the busiest day of a week)...it was a great surprise...love it^^

sadly is....u r actually the second person to see me in work outfit= =

Mid Semester Relief Part 2

Participants : those who appeared before + Jason


Thankx to Miss Renee Ho Ching Chun...I got soo many stuffs to upload...most of the pics are taken by her....using my dear camera= =...i know i can choose not to upload all

Gaining weight again......= =

Time to Hea already..hohoho.. (note that Hea is slacking in canto)

Holiday => my bloody job => earning money + assignments again (received another assignment again...argh....man...it is holiday)

Mid Semester Relief Part 1

I know it is bad to put all pics without organizing...but i m just a way too lazy...btw....my facebook also has it anyways...so leave u guys to read my facebook then^^

Location : Gloria Jeans Coffee Shop
Participants : Agnes, Nydia, Renee n Me= =